Groupons

One of my favorite things is to like something, start a trend of liking that thing, then discontinuing to like the thing because too many people like it.

Example: I used to love wearing headbands. People would compliment me on my headbands all the time. Then everyone started wearing headbands (Okay, I didn't actually start "headbands," but I did wear them before they were super cool.). That's when I stopped wearing headbands.

Non-example: I love bacon. Everyone loves bacon. I still like bacon...

When trends go crazy before I've caught on, I like to stay away from those things because it makes me feel like a poser to like something seemingly because "everyone else is doing it." Exceptions: bacon, designer jeans, Justin Bieber. So when Groupons became super popular, I was not about to join in on the revolution. Reasons why I don't like Groupons: Everyone is doing it. "Groupon" is such a stupid word. I am not about to fall for the trick where I look at all the things that are on sale and decide I need them solely because they are on sale, and not for any functional purpose. My mom taught me to justify these silly purchases by saying, "I can't afford not to buy it!" Inevitably, people buy Groupons for things they would never want or use. It's like a coupon, but worse, because coupons are at least sometimes for things that are normal. Like dish soap and animal crackers and TV on DVD. But Groupons are for things that are the opposite of normal. Like "medical-grade chemical peels" and an "urban spy adventure" and -- my favorite -- 75% off studio recording time. (This is probably what made Rebecca Black's "Friday" happen.) I know that these offers exist because about a month ago I was really bored and I signed up for Groupons in my city and all the cities surrounding me.

I'm exaggerating about the uselessness of Groupons, unfortunately. I say "unfortunately" because now every morning when I wake up and check my email, I have to go through the sometimes painful motions of deleting all my Groupon Daily Deals. I say "painful" because as each day passes, these deals seem a little less ridiculous. I find myself increasingly rationalizing the idea of purchasing some Groupons because I think to myself, "Samantha, you've never actually tried Trapeze Arts, and now you're getting the opportunity to try something that could be awesome for 56% off! Or how about that theater show that no one has ever heard of? How do you know it's bad if you don't try it out? It's such a great discount...! You can't afford not to buy it..." Uh oh. This is the point where I hit "Archive" instead of "Delete" in my email. So I can think about it for a little longer.

Remember earlier when I was starting to argue that I'm immune to the social pressures of trends? Maybe I'll revisit that self-evaluation at a later date.

I decided that my favorite Groupons to wake up to are the ones for things I hate. Then I can delete the Groupon from my inbox to my heart's content. Like the one in the picture up there. I hate bowling. Actually, anything related to exercise, I can delete without a second thought. Or Groupons for sugary things. Or anything for holiday decorations.

I guess I could just unsubscribe. Nah. Someday I bet there will be a Groupon for something I really need.