I would say that I am a relatively intelligent person, maybe even generally inclined to do better than your average person on a given test regardless of the testing abilities of those involved. Here I'll list one of my many pet peeves, that is, when people give the unsolicited caveat (other pet peeve) that "Oh, I'm a really bad test taker..." to excuse (sometimes before even receiving a returned test, or worse, before taking the test in the first place, or worst, at the mere mention of a test to be taken in the future by themselves or by anyone in their general vicinity) their test scores. When I hear that dreadfully unwelcome excuse, my first thought (well, second after "Did anyone actually express their concern for your test-taking abilities?") is usually, "Oh, you mean that you are insecure about your level of intelligence?" Perhaps some people really do freeze in test-taking scenarios, or their teachers earlier in life did not give them practice i.e. CST questions to decode on a daily basis. Incidentally, I happen to be intelligent enough to be a good test taker, and to those who may be disinclined to test-taking scenarios, I say
No excuses, play like a champion.
A note on my general test-taking skills... I think the key is really to be able to access all of the knowledge in your brain about a particular subject at the exact right time. You don't want to arrive at a question where you know you have heard of the ridiculous vocabulary words in the question/answer choices, but you have No Clue what any of the words actually mean. Regardless, I would say that essays are my strong suit. This is not to say that I have the highest score on an essay test in any given group, but I would say that I am particularly adept at accessing every shred of relevant information I studied in the isolated twelve to twenty-four consecutive hours leading up to the test, and then organizing and composing it into a masterpiece of exploited main ideas and fun facts. We in the education world call this synthesis. And in the procrastination world, we call it efficiency. So you see, in the end, when my test is turned in, I am confident that I will receive the score I deserve or maybe even a little higher than what I deserve, because I have successfully incorporated every fact that I have retained into said essay, regardless of the specific prompt that, to everyone else, was a surprise.
The event that inspired today's composition was my yesterday afternoon, spent at Monta Vista High School in Cupertino taking the Reading Instruction Competence Assessment, or RICA (and yes, I did have to look that up more than once to figure out what the acronym stood for). In short, the test is supposed to prove that I am qualified to teach little kids how to read. While not completely obsolete in my current teaching position, I can think of better ways to spend my Saturday afternoon... For one thing, since when are standardized tests scheduled for the afternoon? It is beyond me that a test for teachers of all things would be scheduled at an inappropriately late hour for brains to be functioning on test-related questions. It is practically (if not actually) a proven fact that standardized tests are meant to be taken in the morning, more specifically, at the "ass-crack of dawn" (as my friend Jessica likes to say). (I like to say it, too. It's kind of whimsically crass.)
Then, you know when you walk into a testing room and you immediately spot that person who's going to drive you nuts for the duration of the test? By sighing uncontrollably or clearing their throat unnecessarily or getting up to go to the bathroom eight times or bringing their cell phone/camera/ipod and water bottle with the label still on it after you know they passed the same ten signs you did prohibiting all of the above on their way to the testing room? Or erasing their wrong-answers-that-will-probably-still-be-wrong-when-you-fix-them so vigorously that the entire row of desks shakes? Well that girl was immediately apparent in my testing room. She was sharpening her number two pencils with her hand held sharpener over the trash can while she sat on the floor with the rest of her stuff sprawled around her. She had to stop halfway through sharpening to take off her sweatshirt while remarking to the whole classroom of people who couldn't ignore her no matter how hard we tried that it was soooo hot and could someone fix the air conditioning. Her neck was all splotchy and she was wearing some ridiculous shower shoes that I swear I have no idea how she didn't flip-flop onto her face the way she was shuffle-walking across the floor to her desk from the trash can. Fortunately, her seat was no where near mine, so I successfully ignored her as soon as the test started.
The test began at 2:00 pm, and I began furiously working through the multiple-choice as soon as "You may begin," after briefly noting to myself that it is seven minutes before my school day is usually over, and I am about to start a FOUR HOUR test. Now, I have taken quite a few standardized tests in the year or so, and I'm pretty much over the experience, despite my natural talent for the whole thing. My general goal is to finish the test As Fast As Possible, and I do not even consider re-reading or going over my answer choices, partially for the earlier stated reason that one should almost always stick with her instincts, and also because I am lazy. Today's motivating factor was that my friend Jenn and I had decided to race to see who would finish the test first. We had similarly raced to finish the Teaching Foundations Exam a few months ago, and to my shock and minor embarrassment, she beat me by about ten or fifteen minutes. I couldn't say I had ever been other than the first person to walk out of an exam room. I was a little reluctant to begin another competition, having been beaten previously, being in different testing rooms (difficult to pace oneself if you can't see the person whom you are meant to beat), and then there's the fact that Jenn actually teaches little kids how to read... She offered me a ten-minute handicap, whereupon I eagerly accepted and furiously tried to work my way out of that testing room as quickly as possible. Given four hours, I proudly finished the test in one hour and 58 minutes (to the shock of my test proctor), five minutes before my friend and testing-rival Jenn. To say the least, it was a triumph.
Now whether I actually passed is another story.
Test-Taking Cliches - I mean Tips, and reasons to buy my book:
1. Always bring at least two spare Number Two pencils.
2. Do not cram for your test.
3. Eliminate the wrong answers first, then rationalize the remaining answers.
4. If you are unsure, always choose B.
5. Get a good night's sleep, and eat a good breakfast.
The event that inspired today's composition was my yesterday afternoon, spent at Monta Vista High School in Cupertino taking the Reading Instruction Competence Assessment, or RICA (and yes, I did have to look that up more than once to figure out what the acronym stood for). In short, the test is supposed to prove that I am qualified to teach little kids how to read. While not completely obsolete in my current teaching position, I can think of better ways to spend my Saturday afternoon... For one thing, since when are standardized tests scheduled for the afternoon? It is beyond me that a test for teachers of all things would be scheduled at an inappropriately late hour for brains to be functioning on test-related questions. It is practically (if not actually) a proven fact that standardized tests are meant to be taken in the morning, more specifically, at the "ass-crack of dawn" (as my friend Jessica likes to say). (I like to say it, too. It's kind of whimsically crass.)
Then, you know when you walk into a testing room and you immediately spot that person who's going to drive you nuts for the duration of the test? By sighing uncontrollably or clearing their throat unnecessarily or getting up to go to the bathroom eight times or bringing their cell phone/camera/ipod and water bottle with the label still on it after you know they passed the same ten signs you did prohibiting all of the above on their way to the testing room? Or erasing their wrong-answers-that-will-probably-still-be-wrong-when-you-fix-them so vigorously that the entire row of desks shakes? Well that girl was immediately apparent in my testing room. She was sharpening her number two pencils with her hand held sharpener over the trash can while she sat on the floor with the rest of her stuff sprawled around her. She had to stop halfway through sharpening to take off her sweatshirt while remarking to the whole classroom of people who couldn't ignore her no matter how hard we tried that it was soooo hot and could someone fix the air conditioning. Her neck was all splotchy and she was wearing some ridiculous shower shoes that I swear I have no idea how she didn't flip-flop onto her face the way she was shuffle-walking across the floor to her desk from the trash can. Fortunately, her seat was no where near mine, so I successfully ignored her as soon as the test started.
The test began at 2:00 pm, and I began furiously working through the multiple-choice as soon as "You may begin," after briefly noting to myself that it is seven minutes before my school day is usually over, and I am about to start a FOUR HOUR test. Now, I have taken quite a few standardized tests in the year or so, and I'm pretty much over the experience, despite my natural talent for the whole thing. My general goal is to finish the test As Fast As Possible, and I do not even consider re-reading or going over my answer choices, partially for the earlier stated reason that one should almost always stick with her instincts, and also because I am lazy. Today's motivating factor was that my friend Jenn and I had decided to race to see who would finish the test first. We had similarly raced to finish the Teaching Foundations Exam a few months ago, and to my shock and minor embarrassment, she beat me by about ten or fifteen minutes. I couldn't say I had ever been other than the first person to walk out of an exam room. I was a little reluctant to begin another competition, having been beaten previously, being in different testing rooms (difficult to pace oneself if you can't see the person whom you are meant to beat), and then there's the fact that Jenn actually teaches little kids how to read... She offered me a ten-minute handicap, whereupon I eagerly accepted and furiously tried to work my way out of that testing room as quickly as possible. Given four hours, I proudly finished the test in one hour and 58 minutes (to the shock of my test proctor), five minutes before my friend and testing-rival Jenn. To say the least, it was a triumph.
Now whether I actually passed is another story.
Test-Taking Cliches - I mean Tips, and reasons to buy my book:
1. Always bring at least two spare Number Two pencils.
2. Do not cram for your test.
3. Eliminate the wrong answers first, then rationalize the remaining answers.
4. If you are unsure, always choose B.
5. Get a good night's sleep, and eat a good breakfast.
5 minutes! damn you world! 5 minutes! i shouldn't have stopped to stretch my hand so frequently.
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